Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Downton Abbey in YO FACE!

I've found a most splendid avenue of entertainment in recent months, and it includes the likes of a few unfathomably rich aristocrats who go through money like crack addicts, a galley of quick witted servants who are somehow able to find the positive side of a negative ion, and a majestic castle that has been slapped in the architectural behind by Ivanhoe's joust. 

Produced by ITV media in Britain, the show is currently on break between the 3rd and 4th season and my appetite for the show is growing with each passing day. I find myself making nasty quips about the working class because I'm trying to fill a void left by the Dowager. She never ceases to create a ball of fun around high class stereotypes offering as much repartee as a droll Joel Robinson at a B-movie convention. Another character I didn't realize I could fall in love with is the portly cook donning dirty aprons and sporting a small bonnet over her thinning red coif, but she has won me over. Ms. Patmore's personality keeps everyone in the basement on their toes and almost mirrors the Dowager's wit to those in her circles. 

These two characters create most of the levity that is the true charm of this show, and I have scoured the internet for quotes comparing the two wisecracking women. 

Top Quotes by Mrs. Beryl Patmore (The Cook)
  1. Nothing makes you hungrier or more tired than grief... When my sister died, God rest her soul, I ate my way through four platefuls of sandwiches at one sitting and slept 'round the clock.
  2. Daisy, I said you could go for a drink of water, not a trip up the Nile.
  3. You (Daisy) are normally dozy, but tonight you make Sleeping Beauty look alert.
  4. Oh Dear, Have you Swallowed a Dictionary?
  5. It’s a poor workman who blames his tools.
  6. Anyone with use of their limbs can make a salmon mousse
  7. Ugh. Talk about making a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. I wish I had a sow’s ear. It would be better than this brisket.
  8. Do I look like a frolicker?
  9. William’s got more to say than a parliamentary candidate.
  10. Why are you using a lemon knife to cut a clementine?
  11. If you must pay money, better to a doctor than an undertaker
  12. Of course she married beneath her. And who are you, the Habsburg Archduke?
  13. Ooo, it's wonderful what fear can do to the human spirit.

Top Violet Grantham (Dowager) Quotes:
  1. Don't be defeatist, dear. It's so middle class.
  2. Last night! He looked so well. Of course it would happen to a foreigner. No Englishman would dream of dying in someone else’s house.
  3. We can't have him assassinated. I suppose.
  4. She's like a homing pigeon - she finds our underbelly every time!
  5. What, pray tell, is a 'weekEND'?
  6. Oh, dear, such a glare. I feel as if I were on stage at the Gaiety.
  7. Good heavens! What am I sitting on?...Another modern brainwave?
  8. Vulgarity is no substitute for wit.
  9. An aristocrat without servants is about as useful as a glass hammer.
  10. Sometimes I feel as if I were living in an H.G. Wells novel.
  11. She's so slight a real necklace would flatten her.
  12. Nothing succeeds like Excess.
  13. But if there are relapses. What then? Amputation in the dining room? Resuscitation in the pantry?
  14. Do you think I might have a drink? Oh, I'm so sorry – I thought you were a waiter.
  15. At my age one must ration one's excitement
  16. 'Lie' is so unmusical a word.
  17. I do think a woman's place is eventually in the home, but I see no harm in her having some fun before she gets there
  18. That is the thing about nature: there is so much of it.
Hope you enjoyed the quotes. 
And to carry you over until next season which will start in January 2014 I've provided a link to the Downton Abbey opening montage below.