The Business of Rat Races and Bacon

One score and fifteen years ago my father and mother brought forth upon this continent, a baby boy. He was to be groomed and trained for a survival game, if you will, making the world go round with the pitter-patter of his humungous little feet inside an unbeatable obstacle course that has been commonly referred to as The Rat Race. I am this boy, and I have been running this Rat Race for about 10 years now. It is tiring and upsetting and rewarding and exciting, but aside from all that it has been completely and totally irrelevant to life and by "completely and totally irrelevant " I mean "utterly and fundamentally irrelevant". It's almost as if it has been a facade to suck me away from the real reality that is really real. What is this reality, you ask? I'll tell you: The exquisite and yet delicate balance of the phenomenon known as BACON.

There is no such thing as money in my pocket, only bacon in my mouth.
There is no such thing as a name on my docket, only bacon in my mouth.
There is no such thing as a raise or a promotion, only bacon in my mouth.
There is no such thing as delays or demotions, only bacon in my mouth. 

I forget this truth so often and I'm here to echo a reminder through the maze of The Rat Race: STOP! ENJOY SOME BACON!
Don't let the world get you down

A Polar Bear Reviews Guardians of the Galaxy

The film is based on an obscure Marvel comic book about 5 random beings thrown together as a result of various circumstances. They are the epitome of unlikely hero's. As a matter of fact, it could have been the subtitle of this movie. The characters were shockingly deep and full of life and each one of these unlikely hero's stole my heart.  

Considering all the buzz I've heard over the internet and social media, I bought my tickets on-line and got to the theater 10 minutes early. However, the theater wasn't as packed as I thought it was going to be.  Where was everyone? A few more people slowly trickled in, but the theater was less then half full. I couldn't believe it. It seemed like everyone was talking about this film. Then I realized, not everyone was talking about this film. Only the geeks were talking about this film. They were talking so loudly that I hardly noticed the rest of society was completely silent on the matter and had passed it off as another potential flop.

I'll be honest, there are too many geeks out there, so it won't be a flop, but it doesn't have enough familiarity to entice the everyday house wife or the Sports Center watching businessman. However, I have to give it to the director, because he made it as palpable as possible for the non-geek. An adorable and yet strikingly handsome human played by Chris Pratt from Parks and Recreation and his nostalgic Walkman are both culture life-preservers in this Alien world on the other side of our galaxy.

As movies go it was out-of-this-world, and geeks around the world would applaud it as a good adaptation of the comic. If the mainstream public can set aside reality for the first 10 minutes of the film and not try to compare it to something that they know or recognize, then they will appreciate and come to love it by the second act. The plot was thick with action, humor, and drama. Subtleties like background action and irony make it a pleasure to watch. Character dynamics makes it interesting to follow, and directorial genius, make it one of those movies that you will want to watch again and again.

Bitcoin: What Is It and How Does It Work

There are approximately 12 million bitcoins in circulation with new bitcoins added to circulation every day. By the year 2114 there will be 21 million bitcoins in existance. Then the digital bitcoin mint will be shut down for ever, and we will have to survive on these 21 million bitcoins.  No amount of pretty girls or declarations of war can change this because this is part of the Bitcoin protocol. 21 million. That's the number they went with.  Not 42, (which we all know is the answer to life, the universe, and everything), but 21.

They, (and by "they" I mean, those who write thick books in small print) say this protocol will guard Bitcoin against inflation. But inflation isn't the only ogre that is hiding under the monetary bridge. Bitcoin is a digital currency based on the internet and computers and servers and laptops and USB drives and so forth. So naturally, the Bitcoin creators had to make sure they were guarding against the number one digital threat, 31337 H4X0Rs, or Elite Hackers. So how do they keep hackers from getting into their Bitcoin program? Easy, you hide your program in the Internet.  That's right. IN the Internet. Somewhere in the Internet, hidden behind a period on a humble blog post or sneaking around someone's Facebook page, is the one and only Bitcoin. "How do you hide an entire program on the Internet?" you may be asking. Technically, It's actually just one long chain of letters and numbers and symbols that when put together make up the phenomenon known as Bitcoin.  This simple act of hiding this Bitcoin "block-chain" is actually the key behind "printing" or "mining" bitcoin. The art of bitcoin mining is a simple system based solely on finding this program that is purposefully floating around the internet like a smart Lego in outer space.

If you get out your Bitcoin approved telescope and find this Lego roaming around the Andromeda Galaxy of the Internet somewhere, and you go get it before anyone else does, you can take another Lego piece and add to the one that's already there. When this is done, you release one bitcoin into the digital world. Apparently, this is happening at least 25 times every ten minutes, but the bigger our block-chain or Lego creation gets, the less you will be able to add to it. This is also part of the Bitcoin protocol. So what happens when one of these hackers tries to "Select All" and "CTRL C" this block-chain of ones and zeros and throw another identical Lego piece out there? Good question.

The answer is, they can't. Something about... blah blah blah blah... they just can't okay...
Yet.
All that Bitcoin has to do is stay ahead of the hackers for 100 years. Then when all the bitcoin currency has been released into circulation the giant Bitcoin Lego behemoth will self destruct, and all hacking attempts will be thwarted. Inflation will not exist and the world will be saved, the unicorns can finally come back, and the dolphins won't have to say, "So long! And thanks for all the fish."

One hundred years. That's a long time.  You can bet people will try to crack the code and ruin Bitcoin, but the cool thing is, most hackers and computer geeks want this thing to succeed. They want a currency they can depend on. Dollars and cents aren't cutting it anymore. If you haven't noticed pocket's don't jingle with change anymore. Wallets engorge themselves with plastic cards that have little magnetic strips on them. People are slowly moving away from physical cash. Most of our transactions occur through computers now, anyway. It seems everyday we move closer and closer to a cashless society. So I ask, why not Bitcoin? It's safer than what we have. It's not controlled by one country or one large bank or the price of gold. It's controlled by you and me. People on their computers, peer-to-peer (P2P). Whether it ends up working or not, I think the idea is pretty incredible.

Bitcoin is getting stronger and the almighty dollar is weaker than it's been in a long time. A dollar bill is just a sophisticated piece of paper now and it doesn't even have gold to back it up anymore. It calls itself a "note." We pass notes in class, that said, "Do you like me? yes, no, or maybe." I pass my "note" to the cashier and she looks at it and checks "yes." Then puts it in her drawer, and I walk out with a bunch of merchandise. What happens when the cashiers start looking at our notes and checking "maybe"?

The news is telling us Bitcoin is the next big thing. Many retail companies are accepting it as a currency now, and it's traded in over 200 countries and can even be exchanged at currency exchanges in airports and banks. It's slowly gaining momentum around the world. As I'm writing this 1 bitcoin (BTC) is worth $561.00 (USD), and if you click here, this link will tell you what it is worth right now, however it doesn't cost anything to set up a Bitcoin Wallet.

I set my Bitcoin wallet up through Localbitcoins.com. It's empty right now, but not for long. Soon I will be going in search of the Giant Lego in the sky hoping to mine a bitcoin or two. Not because I need it or even want it, but because I'm kind of a nerd and the whole concept fascinates me. I've included a link on the top of my blog page that, if any of you find yourself swimming in a vault full of bitcoins like Scrooge McDuck and you would like to contribute to my cause, you may click on and donate bitcoins to my wallet.

My money is not on Bitcoin just yet. I've done some research and am playing with it like a cheap toy. If it succeeds, great. A currency to beat all currencies. We could use a little hope in the financial world these days. But if it's not successful, someone will come along and develop something stronger and safer, and we will see if that catches on and becomes the next big thing. In the meantime, I will watch the worlds currencies, bend a sway with the times and the peoples, and enjoy earning, paying, giving and protecting what's mine. 

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“He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

The Quest to Unleash the Beast of Affordable Care

No I didn't read it. Neither did anyone else. No one actually wrote it either. It came from above, similar to the way we got the Bible and The Weather Channel. It resides in a super secret room next to a nice leather chair that no one is aloud to sit in until King Arthur comes back and is able to pull the Red Ribbon out from under it. Then he can sit in the chair and he will become the first person to ever read it.

I'm here to inform you that the ultimate quest has only just begun. However, the Wizard needs food in order to find the remaining six talisman that will help find the chosen one with enough stamina, ritalin, and midichlorians to unwrap the beast of affordable healthcare in America. The first stage is complete. The dragon was appeased and Congress received the Power of "I'm rubber and you're glue, anything it says bounces off us and sticks to you." They will be shielded from all negative effects of the financial cauldron being brewed for some beautiful princess asleep in a cottage with 3 dying kids because their fairy godmother had to drop their insurance and pay the penalty or risk losing her business of making pumpkin chariots. But there is a Dark Knight arising from the east by the name of State's Attorneys General

We can only hope that King Arthur will be found and we can finally see what's in it, because that's why we passed it.

The Dichotomy of a Superhero

Hello readers. I present some questions for you. Who is the greater thespian, Clark Kent or Superman? Does Clark Kent, in those smashing horned-rims, put on a greater show as Superman, than the multi-talented, acrobatic Superman puts on as Clark Kent? More to the point, is Clark Kent disguised as Superman. Or is Superman disguised as Clark Kent?


Is it hard to be Clark Kent when Superman lurks just under his dress shirt and tie? When he's Superman, does the feeling of saving the world and being a demi-god balance out the feeling of being an outsider? Is it safe to be Superman in a world where judgmentalism and social systems rule, and those who stand out are at the mercy of the papparazzi? Consider these things and one might be able to see why he would choose to give up his superhero identity.

Clark Kent, clumsy, geeky, unsure, and full of promise as one of Metropolis's greatest reporters fools everyone. No one even assumes what he's truly capable of.  His co-workers, the ones he sees everyday, can't seem to figure it out. He must be good at being Clark Kent, because it comes so natural. As Clark Kent he's connected to the microcosm of the planet. He's part of the world, part of society, another voter in the democracy. He belongs as Clark Kent.
   
I'm not an alien from another planet with temptations of being a deity, but I do know this: as Superman he seems to be himself, at one with physics and the rest of the universe, excluding one thing... humanity.

Yes, as Superman he's a superstar with fame and fortune. He could rule the world if he wanted. He's moral, and he risks his life to save others, which doesn't go unrecognized. He's heralded as the greatest superhero of all time. A just superhero. A passionate superhero. A freedom-defending superhero. But a lonely superhero. The moments when he feels most like himself, doing the things he does best, are the moments he feels the most isolated. He knows if they really knew him they would poke with camera's and prod with scientists. These people can never know his true identity.

His true identity? Is it Clark Kent, as he's known by his Social Security Number? or Superman as he's known by the world? Does he even have a true identity? Are Clark Kent and Superman two halves that make up a whole? Clark Kent, an alien, adopted by a family who couldn't have children of their own. Superman, an alien, adopted by a world hungry for something to believe in.
 
I think the answers to these question and the reason he can keep a level head on his shoulders lie in a third identity, Kal-el. Once, a long time ago, before he came to earth he was considered "normal" on a planet called Krypton. Just like every other baby boy. He had no super powers. He wasn't special. He fit in perfectly, before even realizing he had a need to fit in. His true identity as Kal-el is not known by the world around him, but it is the glue that holds Clark and Superman together. Without Kal-el the dichotomy between Superman and Clark Kent would splinter off into oblivion and darkness would overtake his soul as well as the rest of the world.

Although Krypton is no more in the physical universe, it exists within the heart of the last Kryptonian, Kal-el son of Jor-el.

Many people think that Superman is a story that is impossible to relate to, but I perceive there is something in the story of Superman that we can all relate to. Think about this. Have you ever felt the need to fit in? How about the need to be yourself? Is your desire to "belong" stronger than your need to be yourself? Can you have both? If you had to choose, which would make you happier?

Superman is loved not because he is so much like God, but because as a kind of God, he is so much like us.

Downton Abbey in YO FACE!

I've found a most splendid avenue of entertainment in recent months, and it includes the likes of a few unfathomably rich aristocrats who go through money like crack addicts, a galley of quick witted servants who are somehow able to find the positive side of a negative ion, and a majestic castle that has been slapped in the architectural behind by Ivanhoe's joust. 

Produced by ITV media in Britain, the show is currently on break between the 3rd and 4th season and my appetite for the show is growing with each passing day. I find myself making nasty quips about the working class because I'm trying to fill a void left by the Dowager. She never ceases to create a ball of fun around high class stereotypes offering as much repartee as a droll Joel Robinson at a B-movie convention. Another character I didn't realize I could fall in love with is the portly cook donning dirty aprons and sporting a small bonnet over her thinning red coif, but she has won me over. Ms. Patmore's personality keeps everyone in the basement on their toes and almost mirrors the Dowager's wit to those in her circles. 

These two characters create most of the levity that is the true charm of this show, and I have scoured the internet for quotes comparing the two wisecracking women. 

Top Quotes by Mrs. Beryl Patmore (The Cook)

1. Nothing makes you hungrier or more tired than grief... When my sister died, God rest her soul, I ate my way through four platefuls of sandwiches at one sitting and slept 'round the clock.
2. Daisy, I said you could go for a drink of water, not a trip up the Nile.
3. You (Daisy) are normally dozy, but tonight you make Sleeping Beauty look alert.
4. Oh Dear, Have you Swallowed a Dictionary?
5. It’s a poor workman who blames his tools.
6. Anyone with use of their limbs can make a salmon mousse
7. Ugh. Talk about making a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. I wish I had a sow’s ear. It would be better than this brisket.
8. Do I look like a frolicker?
9. William’s got more to say than a parliamentary candidate.
10. Why are you using a lemon knife to cut a clementine?
11. If you must pay money, better to a doctor than an undertaker
12. Of course she married beneath her. And who are you, the Habsburg Archduke?
13. Ooo, it's wonderful what fear can do to the human spirit.

Top Violet Grantham (Dowager) Quotes:

1. Don't be defeatist, dear. It's so middle class.
2. Last night! He looked so well. Of course it would happen to a foreigner. No Englishman would dream of dying in someone else’s house.
3. We can't have him assassinated. I suppose.
4. She's like a homing pigeon - she finds our underbelly every time!
5. What, pray tell, is a 'weekEND'?
6. Oh, dear, such a glare. I feel as if I were on stage at the Gaiety.
7. Good heavens! What am I sitting on?...Another modern brainwave?
8. Vulgarity is no substitute for wit.
9. An aristocrat without servants is about as useful as a glass hammer.
10. Sometimes I feel as if I were living in an H.G. Wells novel.
11. She's so slight a real necklace would flatten her.
12. Nothing succeeds like Excess.
13. But if there are relapses. What then? Amputation in the dining room? Resuscitation in the pantry?
14. Do you think I might have a drink? Oh, I'm so sorry – I thought you were a waiter.
15. At my age one must ration one's excitement
16. 'Lie' is so unmusical a word.
17. I do think a woman's place is eventually in the home, but I see no harm in her having some fun before she gets there
18. That is the thing about nature: there is so much of it.

Hope you enjoyed the quotes. 

And to carry you over until next season which will start in January 2014 I've provided a link to the Downton Abbey opening montage below.

Government says "No" to Death Star Petition

 

A few weeks ago the galaxies relaxed when the US Government officially responded to a petition made on https://petitions.whitehouse.gov
Here it is:

Petition: Secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016
Response: The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn't on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:

• The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.

• The Administration does not support blowing up planets.

• Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

First of all, may I say, "Here Here", then may I politely stand and clap for the respectable stance that our administration is taking against the annihilation of planets.

Second of all, I would like to thank the current administration for taking the much needed time to explain why they would be taking such a stand.

Third of all, I would like to honor the Star Wars fans that work in the White House, with a characteristic Mandalorian handshake, and wish you well.

Fourth of all, I hope this does not mean that you will stop researching hyperdrive capabilities for the T-65J Advanced X-wing Starfighters that you plan to sell to the Egyptians and Syrians.

And last, but not least, thanks for proving that most of you still have your virginity.

That is all.

Now, enjoy these beautiful ads